--
This list was tirelessly crafted after months* of research** by me, a film expert***. I have included Disney Animated Studios releases only, so please no angry comments about the lack of inclusion of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas or Jessica Rabbit — I’ve also avoided including any love interests that I think are actually more “co-protagonists” (i.e. Peter Pan and Wendy, Lady and the Tramp.) Here you go, kids.
*hours
**Wikipedia and Disney.Wikia searching
***person who recently referred to their own presence on a film quiz team as “dead weight”
23. John Smith (Pocahontas)
Hoo boy. At one point in this film, John Smith glibly informs Pocahontas that he and his crew are here to teach the poor, uncivilised Indians how to make proper use of their land; he literally lights the fuse on his musket and points it directly at Pocahontas upon their first meeting; at one point he assures Governor Ratcliffe that he’s dealt with his fair share of savages in the past, casually implying that he’s murdered a few innocent people (but who’s counting?). Somehow Pocahontas still wastes the excellent “Colours of the Wind” on him. Authentically voiced by real life racist Mel Gibson for extra measure, John Smith also has a very bad haircut.
22. Prince Hans (Frozen)
An intentionally terrible love interest, Hans is basically written as a warning to young viewers not to take the ‘love-at-first-sight’ narratives of the early Disney films seriously. He turns out to be the film’s villain and tries to kill both the lead characters.
21. Unnamed Village Girl (The Jungle Book)
My child self has still never forgiven Mowgli for deciding to leave the only family he’s ever known behind to chase some tail (pun intended).
20. The Beast/Prince Adam (Beauty and the Beast)
Controversial low ranking: Disney took a leaf out of Lord Byron’s book when they dreamed up this douchebag, who vacillates between temper tantrums and self-pity for most of the film. I know a lot of people go for the whole Mr. Rochester thing, but the idea that a bad man can be changed through the patience and kindness of a good woman has some worrying implications that go beyond the ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ criticism that gets lobbied at this movie a lot. The stage musical version of The Beast would be ranked a lot higher because he gets the song “If I Can’t Love Her”, a certified banger — in the movie, he’s kind of a dud. Also, he looks quite weird as a human?
19. The Prince (Snow White)
He’s barely in the film and he kisses Snow White when he thinks she’s dead. Disney did not deign to give him a name because they put in as little effort as possible, and it shows.
18. Princess Eilonwy (The Black Cauldron)
Like anyone else who was not yet born in 1985, I have not seen The Black Cauldron. The Wiki listing for Princess Eilonwy sounds like your basic action movie girl. She and the main character are also like, twelve, so the other characters need to back off instead of pressuring them into kissing.
17. Faline (Bambi)
I’m going to be honest — I haven’t seen Bambi either. But judging from the plot synopsis, she has about as much character and romantic agency as you’d expect a deer to have, so I guess ‘realism’?
16. Neera (Dinosaur)
As a child I once watched Dinosaur seven times on a flight to Taiwan as it was the only film playing on the children’s channel. I do not remember this character.
15. Prince Charming (Cinderella)
On the Disney Wikia, someone has noted that Prince Charming is given a personality in the later Cinderella sequels, rightly acknowledging that he has no personality in the original film.
14. Maid Marian (Robin Hood)
Marian is not very interesting. The male characters compete in an archery contest for a kiss with her, which I feel is teaching young men some Very Bad Lessons.
13. Abby Mallard (Chicken Little)
Wow, this era of 3D animation was truly horrible to look at. I’m not sure if I saw Chicken Little (if I did, it has been heavily repressed) but from the Wikipedia plot summary it sounds like she’s part of Chicken Little’s oddball group of friends and has a cute pre-teen crush on him. She’s also voiced by Joan Cusack, which earns her additional ranking points.
12. Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty)
Prince Phillip sings that nice ‘Once Upon A Dream’ duet with Aurora, and does general heroic battle stuff against Maleficent’s dragon form. He’s still a glass of milk masquerading as a male love interest.
11. Princess Kida (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)
Another one of those love interests who serves more as a plot device than a fleshed-out character. At one point she gets possessed by a magic crystal, I think? She gets additional points for her thirst-trap outfit and blue facial tattoo.
10. Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid)
Another bland boy. Look, I know a lot of women who swear that Prince Eric was their first crush growing up, and all I’ve got to say is that you must be a real Kinsey 0 to feel any kind of romantic stirring for this boring guy. He’s good at sailing, I guess?
9. Nala (The Lion King)
As someone who played Nala in Year 9 in a thirty-minute bootleg production of the musical, Nala is not a particularly interesting character — pretty much all she does is help move the plot along. But she gets extra points for that ‘come hither’ glance she throws Simba in the middle of ‘Can You Feel The Love Tonight?’
8. Kristoff (Frozen)
A sweet guy with a pet reindeer who was raised by trolls. Kristoff gets points for respecting Anna’s existing relationship with Hans instead of complicating things by revealing his own romantic interest. Ultimately he’s not that important in the scheme of things, which is fitting for a film that’s really about two sisters.
7. Prince Naveen (The Princess and the Frog)
When it comes to a film in which a selfish, party-loving rich boy is turned into an animal to learn the error of his ways, The Princess and the Frog does not hold a candle to the greatest Disney film of all time, The Emperor’s New Groove — however, Prince Naveen is a pretty solid love interest. He and Tiana spend most of the film together so there’s plenty of time for their romance to blossom, even though they’re both frogs for 80% of the movie, and he gets some real character growth.
6. Princess Jasmine (Aladdin)
Classic poor little rich girl Jasmine refuses to be bound by the old-fashioned laws of her country that dictate who she can marry, so that’s pretty cool. She also has a pet tiger and an excellent outfit which I would wear in a heartbeat if I lived in a hot country.
5. Li Shang (Mulan)
Commanding, motivated, and often shirtless, I’d get down to business with Shang any day. The fact his clear attraction to Mulan develops while she’s presenting as a boy makes Shang a bona fide bisexual icon. His singing voice is provided by Donny Osmond, aka everyone’s mum’s favourite teen idol; this proves his charms cross generational lines.
4. Flynn Rider (Tangled)
A charming rascal with delightful floppy hair! Flynn (real name Eugene) is a charismatic thief with a heart of gold, and he and Rapunzel have great chemistry together. Their duet in the boat with all the floating lanterns is probably one of the most romantic moments in the Disney canon.
3. Jane Porter (Tarzan)
We do not talk about Jane enough. Jane is an academic, driven by fierce intellectual curiosity to join her father on a zoological voyage into parts unknown! Where most women of her class and background would be terrified, she relishes the opportunity to learn more about her new environment! Also her tank top/petticoat outfit is highly attractive.
2. Megara (Hercules)
Meg has baggage, you know? In a sea of freshly 17-year-old ingenues, she’s a woman with a history — she’s been hurt before, she’s damaged goods, she’s #relatable. Much has been made of her sass and self-sufficient attitude and all of it is correct.
- Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
Mysterious, strong-willed and so sexy that she inspired God-tier Disney track “Hellfire”, Esmeralda is a fierce advocate for her people and the other outcasts of Paris. It’s refreshing to see any acknowledgement of wider social issues in a Disney film, and exciting to see a love interest with a desire for social justice. Also, she and Quasimodo don’t get together at the end! I’ll take this moment to say she gets even further development and many more songs in the musical adaptation (which is, ahem, vastly superior to the movie) but even in her film incarnation, she is still the best love interest Disney Animation Studios has to offer.
